|We will meet again someday Kevin
How can you do justice to such a wonderful, caring, and compassionate boy in just a few hundred words? How can you capture his joy for life, his love and understanding of people, and his overall affection in just a couple minutes?
It was a cool, spring night when Kevin and I met. When we saw each other, it took only one look for us to know that there was "something" . . . it just didn't make much sense. We talked and found out that our likes and dislikes and almost everything about us were the same. Hours upon hours we spent together, learning more and more, getting closer and closer. This was several years ago. At that age, to me, he just seemed like a loving, affectionate fourteen year old kid with beautiful brown eyes, a charismatic smile, and an infectious laugh. Little did I know, that this boy was going to change my life so dramatically!
On the outside, Kevin was like and unlike a million other kids, but on the inside he was different. There was just something about Kevin that made us all want to listen to what he had to say -- spend time with him at a cookout, or watch him dance at a party. The years went by and he couldn't get enough of life or anything else he loved. I honestly can say that I never got angry with him because I, myself, was head-over-heels in love with him. For quite a while, Kevin was a little guy. He was maybe three inches taller than me when I met him and stayed that height until he reached his junior year in high school, where he shot up to nearly six feet tall. That year, he was named homecoming prince. Everyone knew that nobody else but him deserved that recognition. Kevin was literally my prince charming. Out of all my friends, he was my favorite. He was the only person I could lean on; that I could trust with secrets long ago buried. Kev could make you laugh no matter how bad things were going and always had an outstretched hand to anyone that needed one. He was the kind of guy that all girls dream about and wait an eternity for. He was even voted the friendliest in his class for senior superlatives. I considered myself incredibly lucky to be so close to such a person. We would sit in his car for hours and hours -- talking, laughing, and most of all just holding onto each other for dear life. I sure wish that would have been enough. We had a bond which was easy to envy, like none I had known before. I remember feeling so privileged when he referred to me as "his best friend, Summer."
Even though we were three years apart, the age gap was never a problem for us. We spent all day, every day after school together. During the summer, him and I were inseparable. We were always around each other -- either watching DVD's at my house, playing old video games at his, taking long walks, or just driving around Peachtree City looking for something to do. It was the happiest time of my life. Friends always told us we had a slight resemblance of each other. Often, whenever Kev and I were out in public, strangers would always comment on how sweet or handsome my "big brother" was. Every time that happened, him and I would just laugh it off and wouldn't even correct the strangers for their mistake.
After several years of a wonderful friendship, Kevin and I started dating. I was a freshmen and he was a senior in high school. It wasn't too much of a difference to us though, since before we were always holding hands or cuddled up on a couch. Yet, I was in love with everything about him and my feelings never faded. After two months of him and I dating, we decided we should end it because his graduation was drawing nearer and nearer. Kevin and I went to Prom together that year, which was absolutely unforgettable. He had always been a magnificent dancer and held you so close, enough to leave a girl like me speechless. I can remember how incredibly stunning he looked in his black tuxedo with his blonde-streaked hair spiked and neatly combed. Him and I had always jokingly claimed that we were going to get married if we each hadn't found someone by the time I was 27, but at that moment, it seemed like my fairy tale had come true. I kept thinking to myself that night "Too bad I'm not 27, we're already dressed for the occasion!". That was my most memorable experience with Kevin. I would give anything to have that one night back!
In May of 2000, Kevin had to graduate. I was heartbroken. Not only was he going off to college where I couldn't see him everyday, but he was planning on going out of state to the University of Tennessee on a wrestling scholarship. (Kevin had been a wrestler for six years and was among the best in his weight class in the state.) He always reassured me that he would come back on weekends and things would remain just like they used to be, but me not seeing my best friend everyday was going to be tough. He was always around. After Kevin got his diploma, he met up with me and took his "sacred" class ring off his finger, put it on mine, and told me to keep it until he came back from college. He was assuring me that he'd be back and our friendship would last, even though there was a distance factor. I ended up not having to worry about him going off to college, though. On July 12, less than two months after his graduation, Kevin passed away. He was on his way to pick me up for a party when he lost control of his car and hit a tree only 50 yards from my neighborhood.
When I found out that Kevin was dead, it felt as if half of me was taken away too. It was at that moment when time stood still, my life had shattered into a thousand fragments irrevocably broken. My best friend, my favorite person in the world, was gone. All these years of friendship and trust vanished in the blink of an eye. At his funeral, I remember looking down at my hand and seeing his class ring, which he treasured so much, in my possession. It was at that moment when it finally sunk in that my Kevin wasn't ever coming back. After I spoke to an audience of nearly 500 people who attended the service, I placed his ring on his casket, back to him where it belongs. I have dealt with numerous other friends deaths before, but this was different and much worse. The feeling was new to me. Saying good-bye was so hard. I had to say good-bye to my "big brother," my prince, my hero, my everything!
You tell me that it's time to get over it, you tell me that Kevin wouldn't want to see me like this. You tell me that I'm not helping myself to keep dwelling on it and that it's time to move on. You tell me that I shouldn't think about him or talk about him so much, that he's gone and I should get on with my life; afterall, I have so many other friends who need me. You say that God works in mysterious ways and that he wouldn't give me any more than I can bear. But there's a numb, dull ache in me when I think of all he had going for him - Kev was one of a kind -- priceless . . . never to be replaced.
Months later, I still struggle daily with this loss and I know I always will; because for me, the love I developed for him can never be expressed in the past tense. My friends say that I'm being selfish, that I can't blame certain things on his death, but I'm not. It's just that a part of me is missing. You know how it is when two people love and know each other so well, that you can't tell where you end and the other person begins anymore? Well, that was us. I never loved anyone like I did Kevin. I've just started to realize that his red car won't be pulling into the driveway anymore -- never. I know that time will heal and I will eventually move on, but I sure do miss the daily phone calls and his cheerful presence that he brought. It's hard to move on when you see so many reminders of him everywhere you look. Everytime I pull in or out of my neighborhood I see the tree stump of the tree he hit and the flower bush which was planted in honor of him. The holidays and the anniversaries are always the hardest though. In one night I lost so much, and I never realized that I had taken for granted that he would always be here, but in just the short time that he's been gone, he's been missed so much. I loved him for nearly five years, they weren't enough. But what people don't realize is, the person you love is gone, but not your love for them. You love someone that you can't touch or see. I know that I will see him again. I am thankful to have been so close to him and I still have the memories, which will never be forgotten. I have come to the conclusion that the easiest thing to do to ease my pain is make the best of what I have left and not take the people I love for granted. Yes, someday Kevin and I will meet again in a better place, except only this time . . . it will be forever.
In Loving Memory of Kevin 10/9/81 - 7/12/00
|Lost but not forgotten|
Dedicated to Christopher McCulloch (sept 17, 1986-July 22, 2000) and Blaine
Talmo(Dec 5th, 1985- July 22, 2000)
who were tragically murdered July 22nd, 2000..
My Friend In Heaven
If you were taken from me my heart would ache
All our good times and our sad
For your always my friend
For nothing can change the past
~by Farren Brodie September 17th, 2000
The End of The Friendship Page: Friendship Tributes: Long
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Created: 28/3/01 | Last updated: