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Welcome To Sarah's Diary! :)
Welcome to Friendship Diary! Below is the actual diary of Sarah, detailing her thoughts on friendships. Join Sarah as she journeys through the joys and sorrows of friendship. :)
Feedback can be sent to either Sarah personally, or to myself at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks to Sarah for being willing to share her life with us all. - Bronwyn
NOTE: All names have either been changed, or have *'s in place of them.
December 10, 1997
Sharon* just called. She said she had been thinking about what I said- how I'm so unpopular and stuff. Is she a sweetheart or what? She said she thought it might help if we spent more time together. I think it would help, come to think of it. Sharon has been every cause of misery for me- yet is the best friend I've ever had. All friends fight, right? When I'm with Sharon, I can be myself. She always makes eveything okay. She taught me how to stand up for myslef, she taught me that I'm great like I am. I'm also a lot like her. We pretty much grew up togther. We share the same interests- we think a lot alike. We're not exactly alike...no two people are. I must admit, over the years I've gotton jealous of other people Sharon seemed to favor, most of all ****** *******. Lord, she seems to dominate Sharon. Worst of all, I feel that Sharon is always comparing me to ******. Sometimes I feel that ****** is a firefly from heel, but she hasn't done anything wrong! Just stole the only person I every really trusted. She didn't mean to, but I could never be as perfect as ******! Fifth grade was the perfect year, Me and Sharon against the world. It was all so perfect..yeah, too perfect to last.
December 11, 1997
I have a nice room, beautiful house, pool in my backyard and everything I've ever wanted! My room is jammed with all the material things I've every dreamed of. Yet all the money in the world can't buy what I want. I want for Sharon to be my best friend again. She seems to have other plans.
December 12, 1997
Sharon called about four times today, and by the fourth I was a little irritable, but at least it shows she's not ignoring me anymore! I feel a little better.
December 16, 1997
Just when I think everything is perfect, it's not. Guess why? Multiple choice: Sharon, Sharon, Sharon. I wish I had a friend I could really trust all of the time, with no doubt that I care about me and will always be there. I thought I foud that friend, but I havn't and it's making me miserable! It never fails: she gains my tust, then loses it. Gains, loses. Guess what stage I'm at?
January 10, 1998
I dwell on things people say too much. Something Sharon said to me this morning keeps ringing in my ears. After she had woken me up, callin me on the phone, she runined my Saturday moring and then she said something I can't forget. She said that if she were me for one day she would completely change my life. I just wish that could really happen. I act carefree and layed back but Sharon doesn't have to act. I hate life. But on the bright side, did you know that custard pie is SO good???
March 19, 1998
Oh journal. I wish with all of my heart that Sharon wanted to be my best friend again! I've always looked up to her: admired and respected her. And, I just wish that we could be close friends again. She never calls anymore. Doesn't even look at me at school. As a best friend, I really do love her, but somehow our closness dissolved. But I'm thankful for this one friend I've had since we were seven, ***** ********. I can't believe she even wants to be my friend again, after the way Sharon had me treating her in fifth grade. Of course, I willingly was awful to her. I would do anything for Sharon, I can't believe what an idiot I was. But I miss her so damn much!
I know if Sharon ever came to me with a problem or wanted my help again, which she often does, I'd be there for her. But as soon as the problem was solved she says thanks and walks out of my life unitl the next time. But I can't hold a grudge. I wish I could, but I can't. Sharon and I have drifted so far apart I hardly know her anymore. What am I gonna do???
March 26, 1998
Sharon's here right now. I remember last week what ***** spent the night and we never got to sleep becuase we just talked all night long. At one point, she siad, "I don't know why you care about Sharon so much! You're the most loyal friend, yet she treats you like dirt". I dunno, but it's times like these that help me figure that out. But at school that same brick wall is between us. What's heppening to our friendship? Are we only capable of being close friends at home, not school? It things continue, what I always considered to be a lifelong friendship will deteriorate before my baby blue eyes.
March 27, 1998
Journal, I figured out something tonight. I need Sharon's friendship. I need ti more than I've ever known. That's why I'm strong, becuase of Sharon's incredible confidense gives me confidence. That's why I have to get away from her--from this school. I'm going to try to convince my parents to let me switch schools. I can't just depend on Sharon for the rest of my life. I have to be my own person. No matter what it does to me.
April 11, 1998
I'm switching schools. No doubt about it, I am. At first I thought I was going to switch in high school, but I've moved it up to next school year. You know what? It feels WONDERFUL. I'm going to be leaving Sharon behind, and I'm going to be the person I always wanted to be. But Sharon has given me an incredible gift: confidence. I have confidence in me, in who I am. And at this point, I'm ready to do anything to get what I want. Without Sharon.
Now today is August 17, 1998. In about a week school starts, and I'm onto a
new life, without my ex-best friend. She was the biggest part of my life
for as long as I can remember, but I have to let go of her. For one thing,
I have to put ME out of MY misery. The jack-ass can stay behind and treat
everyone like she treated me. I hope everyone else can stand up to her
better than I could. If I had it to do all over again---well, I wouldn't.
A quick message to everyone before you get sick to your stomachs over my
sappy story: Be good to your friends, and they'll be good to you. Thanks
everyone. Mail is appreciated at SrahMcK@aol.com
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